it was a cold sunday morning. somehow it was always a cold sunday morning, even in the middle of summer. she rushed us out to the car, worried that we would be late. [despite the fact that we were leaving almost half an hour early]. there was a quick dispute over who got to sit upfront, and then we were off. we went to a familiar place.

we went there every week. going through the side entrance [no one used the ‘front doors’, except maybe on easter, or some other big holiday]. we arrived about twenty minutes before anyone else. despite the grumbling that came from me and my brother, we really didn’t mind being so early. it was nice to have time to settle into our favorite seats before the bustle and noise of everyone else started to pour the sanctuary.

each week looked pretty similar. we’d open with a hymn. the pastor would make some announcements. then we’d set the autopilot and flow through the order of worship. [starting on page 57 of the lutheran book of worship (lbw)] in my prime i knew the entire service by heart. i didn’t have to look down to know what was coming next or which words to sing. i still held the book open though. i liked the way it felt in my hands. and really, no one likes a show off in church.

the order of worship in the lbw was pretty straight forward. each page laid out what was happening at what time. it told you when to sit, when to stand, when to sing and when to pray. there were sundays where the lbw felt like a choose your own adventure novel. we would start in one place, then flip ahead into a different section, then come back for something else, then skip forward for a hymn. it was fun, once you knew what was going on.

there were always two parts to the service that i loved most. the apostles creed and the hymns we sung. the creed was a funny thing to be excited about, but when i was in confirmation i loved learning about the words and what they meant to my faith. i had the entire thing memorized at an early age. i still do for the most part.

the hymns were always exciting to see which ones we were singing this week. there was generally only three sung in the whole service, so it was always a gamble to see if you got one you liked. i had two favorites that i looked forward to. one was only sung during holy week. ‘were you there’ it is a simply hymn, very repetitive, with only small changes in each verse. it was easy to memorize. it had so much depth to it. even in my younger years, i knew this song held so much of the story of jesus.

my other favorite was ‘take my life, that i may be’. this one we sang a little more often than just one week of the church year. i always enjoyed this song because it said plainly what i wished and hoped i was doing in life. i hoped that God would truly take my life. and move it in the ways he saw fit. looking at where i’ve been over the last few years, i can see that he has been moving through me. i can see the people he’s put in my life. i can see the things i have done to glorify him and honor him in my life. i remember in certain moments that i didn’t see or understand where i was going or why, but looking at the bigger picture, it is starting to make sense. i understand why i came to western. i see why some people have been in my life and faded out. i see why i’ve done the things i’ve done. the individual moments may hurt and i may not understand why.

‘take my hands and let them move, at the impulse of thy love; take my feet and let them be swift and beautiful for thee.’

the big pictures is beautiful.