Yesterday he said my eyes
Were fading fast away

[ i am starting to fade. i'm not ready to leave yet. but i think i need to go.]

I said well what do you expect
You asked me not to stay and if it had all been for the best

[it's going to be hard to be somewhere new and different, but really it will be good.]

I wouldn’t feel this way
And he said

Oh he said it’s crazy
How love stays with me

[love does stay with me. the friends and family that are a part of my life here will stay with me. sure when i come home they might not be here. i might not get sunday night family dinners anymore. but they are still family. it will be interesting to see how the relationships with people i have now  will grow and change in the next few months, then the next year, and onward.]

You know it hurts me
Cause I don’t wanna fight this war

[i've been fighting to stay here for so long. i am tired of fighting. i need to go. it's been so safe here. it's time to be unsafe. it's time to go.]

It’s amazing to see me reading through this scene
Of love and fear and apologies

My love is like a blanket
That gets a little bit too warm sometimes
I wanna wrap somebody in it
Who can hold me in his arms

[finding something new. someone new. anything new. i want to love. so badly. and i'm not sure i can find it here.]

Cause when it got a little too hot in there
He was always stepping out for air and he froze
Oh he froze

He said it’s crazy
How love stays with me
You know it hurts me
Cause I don’t wanna fight this war
It’s amazing to see me reading through this scene
Of love and fear and apologies

Yesterday he looked at me
With a tear in his eye and said
I’ll always tell you you’re my friend
I hope i don’t have to lie

[i want to always be friends. i don't know if we can if i stay here. it will be good to not be here.]

Cause it’s clear you love another man
I said you’re damn right

And he said
He said it’s crazy

[it a way it is crazy to leave. i have a job. i have friends. i have a home. i am content. outwardly. inwardly, i'm desperate for change. i need something different.]

How love stays with me
You know it hurts me
Cause I don’t wanna fight this war
It’s amazing to see me reading through this scene
Of love and fear and apologies
He said it’s crazy
How love stays with me
You know it hurts me
That i didn’t figure it out before
And now it’s too late for a soliloquy

[i need to figure out my own thoughts. where i want to go. what i want to do. i can't do it with all the noise here. i keep trying to talk it out. but it's not manifesting itself here. hopefully this adventure will bring it out of me.]

It’s way too late for dignity
It’s time for apologies

[it's time to go. it's time to make those apologies and go. i'm sorry. i am. i can't find a better way to say it. i just make it harder to understand by adding more words. i'll just keep it simple. i'm sorry.]